In Memory of Ms. Winifred

Winnie's story began long before she was born on June 8, 2008.

It began years earlier when I decided that when Max was gone, my next dog would be a female Great Dane. Max was my Doberman who I had had since birth. His story is available on this site as well.

My story with Winnie began in October of 2008, a little over a month after Max had passed.

When Max got sick I gave him a hard time, telling him if he left me I was going to replace him with a female Great Dane. He seemed unfazed.

At some point while he was sick he came up with this big Winnie The Pooh stuffed animal that nobody had any clue where it came from. So I teased him: "Is that what you want me to name that female Great Dane, 'Winnie'?"

Max's passing was incredibly hard on me. I wandered around lost & depressed without him. I'd had him literally since the minute he was born.

I had no intention of getting another dog any time soon, especially since I knew I would get a Great Dane and those aren't exactly the least expensive dogs on the market, especially not if they come from good stock, and good and reputable breeders. Besides being heart broken over Max, it wasn't in the budget.

However my former wife at the time was at her wit's end with me moping around, looking at pictures, randomly crying and so she just started looking around.

She came across True Diamond Danes who had a female Great Dane they had bred and needed to re-home basically.

Winnie's story from birth till she came to me was a bit different. She wasn't exactly a rescue dog, but she wasn't exactly a perfectly happy puppy ready for placement.

She had been purchased by a couple at the usual time in a growing puppies life. Her and one her brothers both.

By the time she was almost 4 months old, that couple was getting divorced and no longer wanted either dog, so they brought them back to True Diamond Danes. 

My wife found the ad and called out of curiosity because she was priced much lower than the rest of the dogs they had. She got the story and arranged to bring me there, though I had zero intention of getting a dog. It was too soon and way out of the budget.

When we got there Winnie wasn't there yet. She wasn't Winnie yet because even at her age and having been purchased once she still didn't have a name. She was being brought from the breeders house. So we met her parents and aunt's & uncles who were all huge.

The lady explained that I probably wouldn't want her because she does not like men under any circumstances. They did not know for sure if she had been abuse by the man, but suspected it. All they knew for sure was men couldn't get near her without her barking and lunging.

That was quite all right as I was not getting a dog anyway, just checking out a puppy because that's what I was brought to do.

As a car came up the drive to the country kennel, the lady said that would be her and that I should back away from the door a bit.

I sort of chuckled to myself and went ahead and backed up. I chuckled because I'm not afraid of dogs, or animals in general and to be honest, I've never really met one that didn't like me for whatever reason, so I wasn't worried. Besides, it didn't matter if she liked me or not. I was not taking her. It was too soon. It was not in the budget.

When the screen door opened I squatted down. Even though I was having nothing to do with it I didn't want to make her visit any more stressful than it needed to be and figured she'd be more comfortable than if I was towering over her.

The next door opens and in comes this fawn Great Dane with ear bandages on a leash. First thing I said was "her ears were done too late". She looked around a bit and locked eyes with me and started coming towards me, past the breeder, past the person holding her leash pulled back. I said "let her go".

She wiggled up to me and licked my face. The breeder and the leash person were surprised to say the least. So I pet her & played with her a bit, it felt really good being with a big dog again and I missed Max even more, and there was something about her that touched me and she was a beautiful dog, but, it was too soon and out of the budget. And I explained that.

I thanked them for bringing her up, gave her another pat on the head and said it was time to get going.

We head out to the car, getting in and the breeder calls us back to the kennel.

The breeder thought that there was only one place for this dog and asked if I would change my mind if she would let me pay whatever I could when I could.

Too soon.

Not in the budget.

Then I looked into those eyes again.

I signed a piece of paper saying I owed "X" for one female Great Dane to be paid as I could pay.

Down the driveway to the car I walked with this dog I had zero intention of getting. She walked right along like the happiest dog there was.

And then the trouble started.

She didn't like getting in cars either. Not until later anyway when she thought it was the greatest thing in the world as long as shots weren't involved!

So I pick her up & put her in the back seat. She laid down and we drove home to introduce her to the kids. Scott II was living with his mother at the time.

We had an old house with stairs. She did not like stairs.

So I picked her up and carried her in.

She liked the boys fine, she really wanted to play with the Pomeranian and the cat, but neither wanted anything to do with her.

There were also stairs in the house and stairs out the back to Max's yard and she didn't like any of them. Which made it hard taking her to go. She wouldn't go out the back stairs to the yard, so I had to take her out the front.

Well, not liking to go up or down stairs, many times she wouldn't go or act like she didn't need to go potty.

As soon as nobody was looking, in the house she would go. Great Dane piles are huge and unpleasant regardless of the size or age of the dog.

I finally had to put her in a kennel at night or she'd go all over.

One night she refused to go outside. Went in the kennel. She did try to aim out the door though. All over the place. And I have issues. Dog piles make me gag at a minimum and throw up on the other end of the spectrum. The kids always got a kick out of it, even though they'd end up doing the clean up most of the time.

This time was a month or two into her stay and it was ridiculous. I had never had a dog take so long to be house broken and I was mad because it was every where and all over her too. And was certainly going to get on me.

I ended up having to get her upstairs to the bathroom so I could get her in the shower and get her cleaned off.

It was not fun for either of us.

I was yelling to my wife to call the breeder because even though I would normally never part with a dog I agreed to have, this one was going back. NOW.

I got her up and in the tub and cleaned off.

You could tell she felt bad. Then I felt bad. Horrible in fact. Especially when downstairs again she wiggled up and jumped up on the couch & laid her head in my lap.

I was told the breeder didn't answer and I said that was all right, I wasn't going to send her back, I was going to keep working with her. She said "good because I didn't actually call".

Winnie, unless sick or ignored never went in the house again. You could go away for a weekend and she would be fine.

I kept working with her until finally she would go up & down the back stairs by herself to go out.

Pretty soon it's late December & Scotty is coming to spend Christmas. He was excited to meet her. Max had been there his entire life as he was born almost a year after Max.

Winnie was not excited to meet him. She went completely ballistic. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk, he could barely breathe without her losing her mind and going after him. It ended up being the same with any of the boys friends that came in too. I guess Jake & Josh were ok because they were there in the house before her, because she never did that to either of them.

That continued every time Scotty was there for the next year.

New Years Eve 2009 we were all upstairs in the bar I built in the attic. Winnie had gotten where the regular stairs didn't bother her, she'd fly right up to the second floor. However, she would not get near the basement stairs or the attic which were the kind that were just steps that you could see through.

All of a sudden I ask Scotty if he wants Winnie to stop going after him. Of course he does.

So, in a move that scared the hell out of everybody but me since Winnie was humongous at this point, I told Scotty "go downstairs, grab Winnie by the collar and bring her up here".

I figure this is not going to happen. He'll chicken out, she'll lose her mind. Lisa thinks I just sent him to get killed.

A few minutes later there's clacking on the steps, and here comes Scotty hauling Winnie up to the attic. He lets her go and she comes wiggling over to me and from that moment on, Winnie never had a problem with Scotty again. In fact they ended up getting pretty close after that.

When Kris & I got together Scotty & Winnie both met her at the same time. Winnie took right to her and I guess Scotty decided if Winnie thought she was ok, she must be.

While she was kind of indifferent toward Lisa and other women, Winnie took to Kris right away, and initially got along, but kind of terrorized her dogs Kyra & Zoey until it was established that she was top dog among the dogs in the house. She still liked trying to play with cats who wanted nothing to do with her though.

Winnie only had to see the vet twice in her life other than shots. Not long after Kris & I moved in together she had some serious problems, throwing up, couldn't move. She had an infection and ended up having her uterus removed. The vet couldn't handle her.

They called me in to hold her so they could anesthetize her and then again when it was over. She ended up staying for a couple days and I had to go over to take her out side until it was time to go home because nobody at the clinic could get near her, even half incapacitated. Once home she bounced back quick.

The second time she saw the vet was when we lost her.

A couple months before she passed we had taken in Sami, a brindle female Great Dane who was a rescue.

They actually got along great after their initial meeting. Winnie felt like she had a teammate against the labs!

After awhile Winnie started spending more time with Scotty than the other dogs, though she was still perfectly fine. You could tell she was slowing down a bit, but she could still get riled up.

Her & Sami would go out in the yard and play fight. Sami is a lot like her in some ways, but very different in others. Like she doesn't like men either. Except for me. And she doesn't like Scotty much either. She's also not shy about sleeping with, or right on top of me.

If you've never seen two Great Danes play fighting, it is a sight to behold.

They would bark & gnash and jump at each other. The fence in the back yard is 8 feet high and they would jump in the air at each other higher than the fence, they'd wear each other out and then they'd come in and nap on the bed or couch together.

On the morning of June 4th, Kris found Winnie laying in the hallway to Scotty's bedroom which was kind of unusual since laying on the floor wasn't really her thing.

Kris could see that she had thrown up and she woke me up to let me know Winnie was sick.

I checked her out & played with her & she seemed fine although not real playful or animated.

I got her to stand on her hind legs and give me a hug and figured she was fine.

Before I went to work she was laying in the living room and she sat up when I came through. I went and pet her, told her to be good and get better and then I left for work. Kissed her forehead as usual.

I didn't feel right.

Kris sent me messages through out the day to update me. She got better for awhile then she wouldn't do anything.

We had band practice that night for a show coming up and I left town and headed to La Crosse. Kris called and said Winnie was worse and she thought she should take her in to the vet.

I told her to go ahead and she and Scotty took her and I quit looking at my phone.

I was not in anyway ready to lose her. Way too soon.

I know that the bigger the dog the shorter the life expectancy, but I was not ready.

In a lot of ways I felt like I was just getting to know her.

During a break at band practice I had a message from Kris that I needed to call right away.

No. No I did not. Because I knew. And I could not handle it. I went into massive denial.

But denial doesn't make it less true.

Winnie passed peacefully with Kris & Scotty by her side at the vet. Where I should have been, even could have been, but I could not.

The picture below where Scotty has his arm around her and her eyes are closed is the last picture taken of her, shortly before she died.

It's now six months later before I could finally write this story. And I'm not enjoying the task and I keep tearing up.

Every time I think of her it's almost like losing her again.

I was a lot closer to her than I thought.

I always thought she'd be a great dog, but there was just no way I'd ever get as close with her as Max. For one, I wouldn't go through that again, secondly, Winnie was much different. She was more shy & reserved than Max.

For instance, she'd lay on your lap for awhile, or next to you in the bed for a few minutes, then she'd need to move. Almost like she wasn't worthy.

She'd tuck her head by my shoulder instead of on top of my shoulder. I think she thought I was a dog too and she wanted me to know she knew her place in the pack. She definitely knew she was in charge of the other dogs, but she'd always be very submissive with me.

Actually, in thinking back, towards the end I can vividly see where some time after Sami's arrival, Winnie began abdicating her throne. Not to Sami, but back to Kyra.

I had no clue how much I loved that dog. It hurts every bit as bad as Max did, in some ways worse because she got so little time.

She sure left behind some memories though!

One of her biggest quirks was trying to sit like a person with her butt on a chair and her feet on the floor.

When I first got her she was not allowed to have people food, at all. You do not want a dog taller than you to have a craving for things on the counter or table. Besides, Great Danes have enough tummy troubles.

Well, one Friday night I was having my traditional Friday night pizza and was full and had one piece left. Winnie was outside.

So I thought if I put it in her dish instead of giving it to her, she'd get a treat, but not become a beggar.

So she comes in from outside and I keep waiting for her to go look in her dish.

It takes her about 20 minutes and she sees it. Sniff's it. Picks it up. Drops it. Picks it up again and devours it. Runs back to her dish looking for more. Nothing.

She walks away, and goes back. Nothing.

At the time I had her semi-trained to ring a bell when she wanted to go outside and she rang the bell so I let her out. She instantly wanted back in. To look in her dish and see if another piece of pizza showed up.

When it didn't she started barking at her dish. Ringing the bell again. Out again, back in, look at the dish and bark.

It took quite awhile before she let go of trying to get more! It was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen a dog do!

She was truly a gentle giant.

I took her to the dog park in La Crosse once and she was just happy as could be running around trying to play with all these much smaller dogs. One of them actually went after her & bit her in the face. That dogs owner almost got an ass whooping he would never forget. If Lisa hadn't pulled me back he would have been done. He was a scuzzy dirty jerk whose dog was on a leash and he couldn't be bothered to pull the little mongrel away from attacking another dog.

Winnie wasn't mad. Only I was. She just went and played with other dogs instead.

I'll always remember her big old lumbering walk. Even as she aged she would still come wiggling up to me like she did when she was a puppy.

In the beginning, despite the fact that it was too soon and not in the budget, Winnie & I apparently needed each other. I needed her to help heal the loss of Max and I guess she needed me to heal what she had been through in her early days. I have no idea how that happened and how a dog that hated men came right up to me and gave me a dog kiss.

Except that it was somehow meant to be.

I know Great Danes get older quicker, I know she had been slowing down, spending her time watching Scotty play video games instead of playing with the other dogs. It was still a huge shock.

The video interspersed with pictures where I'm fighting with the dogs and she's right in the middle of it, it was just a few days before she left us.

So, she was old for her, she was apparently ready to go. I keep thinking she thought that since Sami was here & loved me, it would be ok.

I have no idea.

What I know is that I miss her. And I also believe that she knew I could not handle watching her go or being there. Don't ask me how I know, no clue.

As I was bawling my eyes out I said never again would I have a dog with a short life expectancy. 6 years is barely time to really get to know each other.

But then I knew I would. Probably again, and again. Those big old lovable, crazy, bull in a china shop, short life expectancy dogs are going to be here any way. They might as well spend their time with someone who loves them and will hurt when they go. I'll probably always be that guy for whatever dogs chose to share their time on this earth with me.

I know if she had to go she would have preferred for me to be there with her. But I really think she knew how bad that would have been for me and she saved me from that and took her comfort in Scotty & Kris. Always looking out for and protecting Dad.

Now that I think about it, Max did the same. With him, he was sick and winding down for days and I was with him constantly. He waited to go until I was asleep.

If I had it to do again, I would. Even as I sit here crying, writing and barely able to breathe six months later, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. As much as it still hurts it was a blessing to be chosen by her, trusted and loved by her, and in the end, looked out for by her.

Till we wrestle again my darling Winnie. Winnifer. Winnie Pooh-Bah. Ms. Winnifred. Winnie Poomboscus.

If love for a dog is judged by how many nickname's you come up with for them, I'm pretty sure Winnie's sure she picked the right guy.

But then again, while I was thinking it was too soon and not in the budget, she was sure the first time she saw me.

She hated men, until she loved me. Maybe there's hope for Sami.

As much as it hurts, I'll always be glad Winnie & I got to dance.