Open Letter To The Fridge/Ice Maker

Dear Mr. Ice Maker,

We here at home sincerely appreciate your work ethic.
 
Really, we do.

I mean, you make sure if we're thirsty or wanting a
cocktail, we can enjoy that as cold as we would like. Open the door and there you are.

We do however take SLIGHT exception to the fact that occasionally we HAVE to open the freezer door to get to your wonderful creations. It's so much better when the little button shaped like a cup that you push to drop your little lovelies directly into the glass, WORKS.

But I digress.

Your work ethic is astounding. Over the top as a matter of fact. Literally and figuratively.

We appreciate it with all sincerity, but PLEASE! You were designed to take a break when your partner Mrs. Ice Tub was fully satisfied. Really, you don't need to keep working so hard.

Have we offended you in any way? I mean, YOU KNOW and WE know you are out of Warranty. You can't expect us to remember to turn your power button off all the time.

We're only human I.M! We can't remember that.
 
Yet, you won't auto-shut-off like you used to.

I couldn't decide if you were so happy you could make so much ice for us, or if you were upset.I believe you are upset because you KNOW we're going to discover
the cup shaped button doesn't work and we are going to open the door.
 
And ice is going to go everywhere.

And we're going to feel like we're in an episode of "I Love Lucy!"

You know this and yet you do it anyway...

We would appreciate you getting yourself under control.
 
We are simply not going to pay for any out of Warranty repairs. We can buy a new fridge for what that would cost. Your younger siblings keep getting cheaper & cheaper. For what you cost, we can get a new machine with a built in computer screen.

Get your sh*t together I.M.

I know what you're thinking. "Would he refuse to fix me and replace me or would he call the refridgeration guy?"

Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this Capital One Platinum Card isn't doing anything and it's the most powerful Credit Card in the world, and would make you disappear to the back of the Habit For Humanity Store and finding a new home with the first person who could come up with $25 bucks, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya,
punk?

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