Rites of Passage and the Joys of Fatherhood

If I'm honest, which I am, I have to tell you my son Scott W got new glasses today. He broke his well over 6 months ago. I didn't get him new ones because even though he wore them all the time, they were only supposed to be for reading.

Well, when my Dean's list 4.0 son went from a 4.0 GPA to 2.8 in the span of no time at all I had to wonder.

Especially when it's time to spend money on drivers ed and things.

Turns out, contrary to his last eye exam when he got his last glasses four years ago, he doesn't need them just for reading. He can't see without them. He squints to watch TV. He needs them all the time. Bad Dad. I should have seen that.

So today Kris takes him to the optician and he gets new glasses.

So I come home and he's not wearing them.

I ask him why not because he used to wear them all the time and now he finally had them again and he's not wearing them.

Turns out he's got his first official girlfriend who has never seen him with glasses and he's a little nervous about it. I tell him to R-E-L-A-X and let me explain how to play things of that nature with women.  He starts laughing. Hysteric's.

So I tell him to put them on. I tell him he's still damn good looking thanks to being my son. More hysteric's.

I say: "Dude! Here's how you play this" (more hysteric's) "you get on the bus with the glasses off. Sit next to her and talk like you normally do and somewhere on the way to school tell her 'hey, I have these glasses for reading can you tell me how you think they look?'" (more hysteric's). I say "Scotty! This is how you find out how to proceed! Put them on. If she says you look good, you can wear them all the time. If she says she doesn't like them you know to keep them off when you're around her". (More hysteric's). Then he suddenly get's it.

Now I feel like I taught him a key lesson in how to find out what will make a girlfriend, wife or even female friend happy. And know how to proceed.  Good Dad.

Just the other day I told him I wanted a hug because it's been awhile. He sat next to me, I put my arm around him and said "Son, there comes a time in every young boys life when he and Dad start having a relationship that they don't talk about with anyone else". He started laughing so hard he got me to break and then I couldn't stop. All the time when he was younger I always told him to tell me instantly if anyone ever asked him to do something and not tell anyone. He's always been aware of that potentially weird stuff. So now being older he can joke around about it with me while still realizing it's an important thing to be aware of.

As much as I used to think I wasn't father material, I love the relationship we have and how he shares in my twisted sense of humor, our love of food, particularly pizza and for all the arguments against being friends with your child, I have to tell you when it comes to a parent-child moment (bad grades for example) he instantly knows and respects the father/son part of our relationship. And he's fun to go to concerts with!

Of course we can always do better as parents, but right now I'm feeling pretty good about the balance Scott W and I have found and the relationship we have.